I love Christmas and all the traditions that come with it. Unfortunately, it just isn't humanly possible to do them all and still manage to enjoy them. If I try, I'm a stressed out basketcase by the time Christmas actually arrives. But, if I sit down and try to eliminate some, I feel cheated somehow. Like I am giving up things that I love. What I have learned to do, instead, is to look at traditions from a new perspective:
When we had our second child, I let my husband in on a way he could be perceived as a "cool dad". I told him of the tradition my dad had of making bannana splits for dinner whenever my mom had a baby. "You mean BOTH times?" my smart alec husband asked. It is true. My mom only had two children after me, but I still call the bannana split dinner a tradition and think my dad was super fun for doing it. I realized after thinking about this, that a tradition doesn't have to be something that happens every single year to be a cherished memory for my family.
So, each year I pick and choose the traditions we will do that year. And then I let the others go, guilt free, knowing that I can do them next year. For example, this year I am not doing Christmas cards, a family picture or gifts to the neighbors. I will be helping the kids make gifts for their teachers and a gingerbread house. Both of which we haven't done in awhile. I will also ask my family what they most want me to bake, and then just try one or two other things I've been dying to try. Of course, there are some traditions that get carried out every year, because we love them the most. But, overall, this strategy let's me do the ones I'm most in the mood for, and keeps down my guilt level over not getting everything done each year.
This also applies to other traditions. I only make my kid's Halloween costumes every other year. I don't think I would enjoy doing it more often than that. And this way costumes get a bit more wear for all that effort. (If they don't like what they were last year, they can choose another option from the costume box.)
I, also, only do the big friend birthday parties on odd numbered birthdays. Even years are family only. This maintains my enthusiasm for going all out on fun themed parties, and reserves significant birthdays (baptism, deacon ordination) for special family only celebrations.
Works for me!
Be sure to check out more Works for Me Wednesday Ideas at Rocks in My Dryer
Great ideas - I like the banana split lesson - even something that doesn't happen every single time can still be a cherished memory.
ReplyDeleteSimplifying also helps make the things that DO happen extra special, I think.
We've decided to do big friend parties only occasionally, too (I actually just posted about it) - only I might have to rethink it now because I like your thought of celebrating with family on the significant birthdays instead. Hmmm.
Great WFMW!
Wonderful idea Nettie and you explained it so well. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great idea! It's so easy to try and do 'everything' and get overwhelmed! Thank you for reminding me to take life a little slower and enjoy it more!
ReplyDeleteThat is a really good point. Trying to "cram" all the traditions in takes the fun away.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for taking this route.
I loved the bananasplit dinner! So cute! So nice of your dad to come up with something like that.
I totally got jipped on the banana split dinners...I guess that is what happens when you are the last child. I haved learned to simplify some of our traditions too. I am not making my yummy (drool!) orange and raspberry sticks this year. I am just not in the mood to do it. I think we will do a gingerbread house this year, but it will be a store bought kit (lest we repeat the gingerbread disaster of 1999 when our chickens wouldn't even eat what we made). Great ideas. Oh, and I loved the picture of Elsie!
ReplyDeleteThis is an inspired idea. Every holiday my sil has this thing about doing EVERY tradition EVERY year and runs around like a stress case making sure all of it happens. Merry Christmas, indeed. I love the idea of "this year we'll choose the following 3 traditions" instead of making sure every dang one of them is used. They stop being fun at that point.
ReplyDeleteLove the banana split dinner idea. Too bad I'm done having kids. :)
Wow! Two posts in two days? It really is Christmas time! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great suggestion to alternate with traditions! It's true, things can get overwheming near the holidays and it would be sad to lose some traditions. I'm definitely going to try your suggestion. I already kind of do it. I only do homemade Christmas cards when I have the time or inclination. I buy things instead of making them when I'm tired of sewing or run out of time.
Thanks for sharing your fun memories. I love learning new things about a family I've known my whole life! :)
I like your thinking on this one. I have decided to pick and choose a little this year too--no christmas cards this year, for example. You are absolutely right that it doesn't have to happen every year to be a tradition.
ReplyDeleteI love the ideas, thanks for sharing! =)
ReplyDeleteI think making things simple is a great idea. I especially love the birthday idea. I know several people who different things for birthdays, and I've been trying to figure out something good. I just might steal your idea!!
ReplyDeleteI love the banana split for dinner idea- too fun! What a neat memory. I have always alternated birthday party years, too. I only have two kids, so they switch off "birthday party years", so I only have one party to plan per year. I'm glad to know someone else does this too! :)
ReplyDeleteNettie, I love reading your blog because it shows that not everyone in this church has a perfect home, perfect kids and traditions that run like a Swiss watch.
ReplyDeleteSome years I don't do Christmas cards either. I think I'm going to do my eNewsletter again this year. Cheap, simple & easy.
Thanks for sharing this! I need to remember this as I'm stressing just thinking about all the things I "want" to include in our christmas holiday.
ReplyDeleteOne of my "cool dad" traditions was that he took us out for a special lunch anywhere before we had our spacers put in (prep for braces). We got to get out of school and I had the PRIVILEGE of wearing braces 2 TIMES!!!
Also, thanks for the help on changing my post date!!!
All great ideas... as usual! Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a smart mommy. I was just feeling the holiday stress/guilt sneaking up on me and this post really gave me a new perspective.
ReplyDeleteI can remember those banana split dinners. They were really fun. I like your post. It was very inspiring to me, now if I could figure out which traditions I don't want to do. Can I forgo the tree? I guess not, the kids would not be to happy. At my house, because of finance, I choose to have friend parties on the special b-days to make them more special. As soon as I get more stamps, I still will be mailing you a card. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are a smart lady Nettie!
ReplyDeleteI think I may have even had a banana split on the first child being born. I don't think I did on Nettie's birth. After driving 40 miles home, I was called on duty for three straight days with no communications to the outside allowed. Your mother didn't even know what happened to me. I left Char with a neighbor and was released just in time to return to the hospital to pick up you and your mother. And all that in a foreign land.
ReplyDeleteI feel touched by the wisdom expressed by my kids in their blogs. You are all doing so well with your families. Keep up the good work. Dad